The Menu Code

The Bible Code: invented a few years ago by a religious “scholar” from Latvia with the help of the silicon science. It goes like this: you feed a keyword into a computer program that uses a custom search algorithm. The program looks for related combinations of letters and words located in close proximity to each other, which can then be deciphered as words having particular political meanings. The result sets came back as certain identified passages and paragraphs which the decoders, presumably subjective, then worked through. An exercise similar to the “find the hidden word” puzzles in your favorite Sunday newspaper. Often the results were startling! Letter combinations like “jfk assassinate 1963”, “japan abomb 1945” and “Saddam Hussein war” were located and seen as proof enough to the "scholars" that the world was entering the end times. This then is the mysterious Bible Code, most likely written by the hand of God. It must be important, after all, the History Channel devoted an entire hour to it.

Never mind that the same algorithm produced similar results when debunkers fed it Melville’s “Moby Dick!” So what, maybe this just proved that Melville was also guided by the hand of God, as was posited in response by the code authors.

I don’t own a Bible. Where might I go then to be close to the metaphysical energy source that might reveal this mysterious truth? Where can I find another text widely read by the true believers. Bingo! The menu at Bob Evans restaurant! Can there be another document seen by more church-going eyes on a Sunday in Ohio? I think not. Off to Bob Evans with my wife to discover the meaning of things. And to have some breakfast.

Could there really be a “Menu Code?” If so, could I uncover it? After all, I didn’t have the luxury of accessing the computer program to help me search for letter strings. I would just have to use my own, less qualified, brain to accomplish this life-changing task. Like the Bible Code, the puzzle likely will be well hidden and difficult to expose. As with everything else pertaining to religion, I will have to go on faith that I will discover some sliver of evidence to prove to myself that there is a guiding hand that gives my life purpose.

Upon arrival at our local Bob Evans restaurant I can see that I am already off to a good start; they are offering a special “Lent” version of their menu. I am already gaining confidence that providence is on my side. But I have to pick a keyword? Hmm…what could it be? I think I'll go with a topic that was been dominating the news recently. I settled on the word immigration. Maybe the menu code will relate some special instructions on how to solve that thorny issue.

Almost unbelievably, immigration associated words began to jump off of the page. It turns out Bob Evans is headquartered in “Rio Grande” Ohio and the “Border Scramble” is the featured item on the menu! The words "brown” and ”smother” are also easily located within the description. I see the word “pepper” which, when combined with adjacent words “in” and “eye”, seems to reinforce the xenophobic message of the menu.  On the next page, the words "tan" and "men" combine with “Texas" and “slow-roasted.” The word "die" is popping up all over the place. This is troubling. Visions of a triumphant Lou Dobbs dance in my head.

Hogwash! 

I can easily find word combinations to justify any point of view. The exercise, like faith, is not intellectually daring. It will quickly become boresome. I think I’ll stick with science and reason.

Be seeing you….

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